Tag: job

“You Are The Same Yesterday, Today, and Forever…”

 

I’m supposed to be cleaning house.  To my credit, I did start a load of sheets.  This is how it will be from now on.  Weekends to clean, grocery shop, Zumba, catch up on recorded programs, because Monday, I turn the “unemployed/retired” page, to “full-time employed” page.  I will have to change my “about” on my blog and twitter.  It’s been a journey from then until now, with my projects not yet completed, and my committment no less dampened, nor altered with this recent change.  I have had time with my grandchildren, my children, my parents, and my husband, I would never had otherwise had.  I helped my husband put on a benefit golf tournament that was successful enough to repeat this year.  I spent time on myself, still feeling a little guilty about that, just because time for yourself always seemed so extravegant…and it is, but I have learned it is a necessary extravagance!

In my life and in my work, it has never been “just a job”.  It has always been about what I bring to the equation, my skills, my strengths, my life’s experience.  The time away from work, after years of working, made me value my life that much more, because I realized, I had much to contriubute to those I met and reconnected with over that time period.  I forged closer bonds with family and friends, I reunited with cousins I had not seen in years.  My life was made much richer, as a result.

So, before my meeting, I read a prayer I found on newsletter@thehighcalling.org  which in part said this “…Lord, help me to remember that while my circumstances change, you are the same yesterday, today, and forever.”  I don’t know what this new page in my book holds.  I do know I made a connection in my meeting.  I do know I am beginning a new area of law I have never dealt with, except in my own personal life…family law.  I do know the attorney I will be working with has a quiet passion and expertise that speaks to how she approaches her clients and her work.  She really had me in the first hour of our meeting.

“Reduction in Force”

I have always worked, with a few exceptions, I have always had a job. I was the new mother who had her new baby in daycare at three months and was back on the job.   When the kids were all school age, I had the them up at six am, out the door at seven am and at work at eight am.

So, imagine my surprise at fifty-six, to be suddenly without work. I had been laid off due to “reduction in force”, is the formal term. Job hunting was not like back in the day when you read the Sunday paper…no Craigslist is the place now…or Linkin. I updated my resume, attached it to my inquiries to employers looking for a paralegal/admin assistant.  I would then document the non-replys. Employers are so inundated with resumes, they barely respond. So much for job search etiquette.

I went through a period of self-examination.  I went through a period of recrimmination. Then, one morning, I think I was reading a magazine, Oprah, Vanity Fair, Whole Living…take your pick, but somewhere I read that at some point in your life you must take a risk and do something that you are passionate about.  It was not a magazine article, it was Bethenny Frankle’s book, Coming From A Place of Yes.   Of all books I have read this year…The Help, the new book on Malcolm X – Malcolm X, A Life of Reinvention,  the biography of the President’s mom, A Singular Woman…it was this young woman’s book, Coming From A Place of Yes, that inspired me to try and write.  Write about my husband and our experience with PTSD.  Write to the wives, the mothers, fathers, siblings of PTSD veterans, the ones that don’t get counseling…this could be my target audience.  My husband has always said to me – write…just write…about anything and everything…but just write.  I was too consumed with my job to write, until now.

Over the years, I have several journal entries with my thoughts or his words on the subject of his PTSD and how he managed (or was unable to manage).   I started to write and got about fifty pages into it before I went to visit my grandchildren and put the project down.  I started this blog during the summer, not knowing if I could be a blogger or have something of value to say, but in trying to recount some incident of worth, or some random thought, or in trying to describe the raw disconnect of PTSD, I found myself wanting to get better at expression.  I found myself wanted to become a better communicator, a better writer.

Bear with me in this journey of mine.  I may have lost my job due to a “reduction in force” , but I just might have found my passion.